End of the road...
I've finally submitted my resignation. I will have to serve 2 months notice, starting after my maternity ends on the 19th of March. After taking into consideration the annual leave i'm suppose to have this year, my last day at work should be sometime in the first week of May.
It is not a shock to most at work since it was something in the pipelines for a while now. Actually quite a long while since i've spoken of it to my boss before my HOD herself quit 1 1/2 years ago. At that time i was frustrated with work, even though Wilk has not been prepared to go to Australia, i decided to quit and bum around for a bit. But when my HOD left, i just couldn't leave the dept with two new girls who just joined the organization. Besides, the major part of my frustrations lay with the way things were done by my HOD so when my boss asked me to stay on to help the new girls and dept, i decided to accept.
Over the last 1 1/2 years i have been working with the idea that i have to make the dept self-sufficient and effective without me there to support them. As the senior psych, my job scope really changed and i no longer had much times to really be with the kids. But i am quite satisfied with my new role as a supervisor and being able to be involved with the school's programs and policies as a senior staff. It made it easier for me to lay the things necessary for the dept to continue functioning without a head. Now that i am really going, i am at least glad to say that the decisions and supervision which i had been involved with, are things which i would not regret.
On the flip side, i am apprehensive moving from my comfort zone into the unknown. This job has been my first job and on looking back, i think i did a fairly good job of it and definitely learnt alot. It is with sadness now that i am leaving, as compared to more than a year ago, where it would have been a lot more bitterness and anger. I have many colleagues whom i am happy to call good friends now and i'd like to think that i made a difference in the lives of the kids and families whom i had seen and worked with. I know my bosses are genuinely sad to see me leave and would have preferred me taking no-pay leave for 2 years instead but i didn't think it would be fair since i am not sure when i will come back. However, given a chance, i think i will want to work with them again, despite all the challenges which i know the organization have.
Just over dinner the other night with my soon-to-be ex-colleagues, i realized how much i have changed in the last 7 years (it would have been my 8th year starting feb). What used to frustrate me about work, the helplessness i felt about the situation, now i felt that i can do something about it with the system that i am in. I've reached a position where my views are respected, sought after and held weight with the people above me. Though i have never been shy to express my views even while i was a 'rookie', i think i am more mature now and have learnt to put my points across with more effectiveness.
With new projects looming for the organization, i could have continue to contribute what i have but i guess i must draw a line somewhere and the time is now. At the back of my mind, one thing still holds true... no one is indispensible. I certainly do not think that i am indispensible but i want to ensure that before i leave, the people behind me would not have to take over a mess, the way which i had to. I also want to leave happy, with my head held high with no ill feelings or regrets. I guess i have achieved that in my own way.
